Did you miss us?

We are still not totally sure what happened... but here is a brief rundown of why the site has been down.

A couple months ago Steve came running over to my house with this letter that his "grandpa" sent him in the mail. It was a large piece of ancient looking parchment that appeared to contain a bunch of barely readable hieroglyphs that, upon translation, instructed us to travel to Egypt’s great pyramids for the "resurrection of Anubis the world eater". I asked Steve what was wrong with his Grandpa but he just mumbled something about lizard people and we swung by Jonah’s house and rescued him from the bathtub where he had passed out from self applied roofies.

We immediately hopped on a plane to the great pyramids and were casually flying over the ocean when a giant red eye appeared in the sky and shot laser beams at the plane until it’s wing burst into flames and became dislodged. Luckily Steve has an obsessive fascination with miniature hang gliders and popped one out of his pocket. We escaped on Steve’s hang glider and dodged the searing laser projectiles until we deftly landed on the swirling ocean below. Unfortunately, a giant sea dragon appeared from under the ocean waves and attempted to scoop us into its maw in a fit of hunger.

We dodged the sea dragon with the clever use of a pack of matches and my wooden peg leg and slipped into a massive frothy wormhole in the ocean that dragged us down to the sea floor and through a magic portal that popped us out in the southern tip of Africa (what luck!!). Its here that we got on a local northbound bus and Jonah contracted a strange disease that only allowed him to speak backwards in a falsetto voice and turned his feet into very small hands. When we finally reached the pyramids we arrived to find Anubis at the top of the central great pyramid waiting for our arrival.

Apparently Anbus was brought back to life because Steve, Jonah and I had unlocked an ancient Egyptian prophecy. I’m not 100% sure what the constituents of said prophecy entailed but I think it had something to do with "too much bass for your face." Regardless, the only way we could stop him from eating the world was to out-DJ him at a giant robot insect party on mars. Safe to say we won and that why we’ve been gone and the world has not been eaten....

Ummm... yeah... soooo.....

Welcome to the updated FWD Entertainment 3.0!